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maandag 7 februari 2011

Enneagramtype 8 - De Uitdager

Enneagramtype 8 - De Uitdager

 

De leiding nemend, omdat ze niet beheerst willen worden


De Uitdager 8.
Mensen van dit persoonlijkheidstype willen in essentie niet beheerst worden, zowel door anderen als door hun omstandigheden; ze willen volledig meester zijn van hun lot. Achten hebben een sterke wil, zijn beslist, praktisch, ferm en energiek. Ze zijn ook geneigd om dominerend te zijn; hun niet beheerst willen worden door anderen manifesteert zich vaak als een behoefte om in plaats daarvan anderen te beheersen. Wanneer ze mentaal gezond zijn houden ze deze neiging onder controle, maar de tendens is er desondanks altijd, en kan een centrale rol aannemen in de interpersoonlijke relaties van de Acht.

Achten hebben in het algemeen krachtige instincten en sterke fysieke begeerten waaraan ze zich zonder schuldgevoelens of schaamte overgeven. Ze willen een heleboel uit het leven halen, en zijn volledig voorbereid om erop uit te gaan om dat te krijgen. Ze hebben de behoefte om financieel onafhankelijk te zijn, en vinden het vaak moeilijk om voor iemand te werken. Dit maakt het soms nodig dat de Acht zich volledig aan het systeem onttrekt, en een soort vogelvrije mentaliteit aanneemt. De meeste Achten vinden echter een manier om financieel onafhankelijk te zijn terwijl ze vrede sluiten met de gemeenschap, maar ze houden altijd een ongemakkelijke omgang met iedere hiërarchische relatie waarin de Acht in een andere positie als de bovenste is.

Het is moeilijk voor Achten om hun verdediging op te geven in intieme relaties. Intimiteit brengt emotionele kwetsbaarheid met zich mee, en zulke kwetsbaarheid is een van de diepste angsten van de Acht. Verraad van ieder soort vinden ze absoluut niet te tolereren en kan een krachtige reactie teweegbrengen bij de geschonden Acht. Intieme relaties zijn vaak de arena waarin de problemen met beheersen van Achten het meest duidelijk naar boven komen, en vertrouwenskwesties nemen een cruciale positie in. Achten hebben een sentimentele kant die ze vaak zelfs niet aan hun intimi laten zien, zo bang zijn ze voor kwetsbaarheid. Maar hoewel vertrouwen niet gemakkelijk is voor een Acht is het zo dat wanneer een Acht iemand in zijn innerlijk heiligdom toelaat, die een standvastige bondgenoot vindt en een trouwe vriend. De krachtige beschermingsinstincten van de Acht komen naar boven wanneer het nodig is om familie of vrienden te verdedigen, en Achten zijn vaak onverantwoord gul in het onderhouden van degenen waar ze om geven.

Achten zijn geneigd tot kwaadheid. Wanneer ze ernstig geprovoceerd zijn, of wanneer hun persoonlijkheid ongebalanceerd is, kunnen vlagen van kwaadheid veranderen in woedeaanvallen. Emotioneel ongezonde Achten zijn eerlijk gezegd agressief, en wanneer ze onder druk gezet worden kunnen ze tot geweld overgaan. Zulke Achten vinden het leuk om anderen die ze zien als "zwak" te intimideren en voelen weinig wroeging om over iedereen heen te lopen die hun in de weg staat. Ze kunnen ruw, wreed en gevaarlijk zijn.

Het is veel waarschijnlijker dat vrouwelijke Achten zich verkeerd typeren dan mannelijke Achten, omdat veel van de typische karaktertrekken van de type Acht persoonlijkheid ontmoedigd worden bij vrouwen. Meestal zijn het echter andere typen die zichzelf verwarren met Achten. Dit komt vooral voor bij mannelijke tegenfobische Zessen, die niet inzien dat hun agressie een dekmantel is voor een diepliggende angst. Zevens zijn ook geneigd om zich verkeerd te typeren als Achten, maar Zevens ontberen de intensiteit van de focus die typisch is voor type Acht, en hoewel zowel Zevens als Achten persoonlijkheden hebben met veel energie, hebben Achten een in het fysieke gebaseerde energie, terwijl het energiepatroon van een Zeven een nerveuze, mentale kwaliteit heeft.

Doe de test zelf en ik zou het resultaat graag willen weten. Binnen mijn werk doen we dit soort testen. Ik vind het heel interessant en verhelderend.
http://www.eclecticenergies.com/nederlands/enneagram/test.php

Kevin

Enneagram Type 8 - The Challenger

Enneagram type 8 - The ChallengerEnneagram Type 8 - 

The Challenger


Taking charge, because they don't want to be controlled

People of this personality type are essentially unwilling to be controlled, either by others or by their circumstances; they fully intend to be masters of their fate. Eights are strong willed, decisive, practical, tough minded and energetic. They also tend to be domineering; their unwillingness to be controlled by others frequently manifests in the need to control others instead. When healthy, this tendency is kept under check, but the tendency is always there, nevertheless, and can assume a central role in the Eight's interpersonal relationships.

Eights generally have powerful instincts and strong physical appetites which they indulge without feelings of shame or guilt. They want a lot out of life and feel fully prepared to go out and get it. They need to be financially independent and often have a hard time working for anyone. This sometimes necessitates that the Eight opt out of the system entirely, assuming something of an outlaw mentality. Most Eights however, find a way to be financially independent while making their peace with society, but they always retain an uneasy association with any hierarchical relationship that sees the Eight in any position other than the top position.

Eights have a hard time lowering their defenses in intimate relationships. Intimacy involves emotional vulnerability and such vulnerability is one of the Eight's deepest fears. Betrayal of any sort is absolutely intolerable and can provoke a powerful response on the part of the violated Eight. Intimate relationships are frequently the arena in which an Eight's control issues are most obviously played out and questions of trust assume a pivotal position. Eights often have a sentimental side that they don't even show to their intimates, such is their fear of vulnerability. But, while trust does not come easily to an Eight, when an Eight does take someone into the inner sanctum, they find a steadfast ally and stalwart friend. The Eight's powerful protective instincts are called into play when it comes to the defense of family and friends, and Eights are frequently generous to a fault in providing for those under their care.

Eights are prone to anger. When severely provoked, or when the personality is unbalanced, bouts of anger can turn into rages. Unhealthy Eights are frankly agressive and when pushed, can resort to violence. Such Eights enjoy intimidating others whom they see as "weak" and feel little compunction about walking over anyone who stands in their way. They can be crude, brutal and dangerous.

Female Eights are far more likely to mistype than male Eights, as many of the traits typical to the type Eight personality have been discouraged in females. For the most part, however, it is other types who mistake themselves for Eights. This is especially common in male counterphobic Sixes who fail to recognize that their agression is a cover for a very deep seated anxiety. Sevens too, are prone to mistype as Eights, but Sevens lack the intensity of focus typical of the type Eight, and while both Sevens and Eights have high energy personalities, Eights have a physically based energy whereas the Seven's energetic pattern has a nervous, mental quality to it.

If you want to do your own personality test, click the link below:
http://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test.php

I would like to know what your type is.

Kevin

dinsdag 14 december 2010

Ending weeks of the new beginning that is starting..

Last 2,5 months has been very intense. Adapting to the new situation of not travelling, working, finding my balance in thinking and being again, has come slowly to an end. I have been working through meditation, praying, Buddhism, talking, sessions, sports, music, reading, television, writing, but most of all; doing absolutely nothing for long hours, days and weeks. Making my world as small and slow as I could. To find and hear my inner voice again. Being with myself and in myself. Making my new home the foundation to live from. Working, home, training, home, friends, home. After weeks of going through deep inner moments and confronting myself with the restlessness in my thinking and not being in the moment where I am in, times and thoughts/feelings changed.

Dreams about closing contact to negative people. Accepting new people. In the dream I went literally from winter, spring and ended in summer. Waking up I realized that I am growing to the new phase in my life by letting go of the past and some people coming with that era. It felted so good, in that moment. No thoughts of future, past. Nothing. Just me, like in meditation. Only fully awake and enjoying and controlling it. All week it has been this good. I can't sleep until 3-4am o'clock, 'cause of all the energy that's inside of me. Whistling happy tunes, and noticing it minutes later. Not feeling the need to call or email people. Just enjoying being with myself. I think it has been some years I had this calming and accepting moment of life the way it is, now. 

It took many deep moments of losing grip, letting go of the control what was not there. Anxiety, depressed thoughts, crying, confusion, etc.
I knew all the time that it has to come if it is inside of me. Letting go by accepting that it's there. Letting go of the need to control it all by not accepting that this is also a part of being. Not ignoring the dark voices in a energy killing repression, and also not running in the light thoughts of all the stuff what makes me feel happy. No, placing myself in the middle. In a meditation I saw myself on a sand road, with big and old trees on each side. On the left in the field I saw a dark cloud with thunder, lightning, rain. On the right side in the field I saw the sun shining like it never did before. Perfect blue sky and warmth. The trick I learned was to place myself always in the middle of the sand road. Not going in the fields, but just looking at it. Not jumping from left to right. From the moment of waking-up I needed to this. And along the weeks followed it went easier and easier. Now a month later I am on that road almost all day. I see my dark and light thought. Acknowledging it's all there. It made me stronger and stronger every day. Finally result. Finding my rest again. 

So now of course the mind and character are going to dream again. It just happens. If it comes, I let if float. Last Sunday evening I was watching a program about a Dutch person who went living to Spain. Old feelings and thoughts about this beautiful and passionate country came again. The ever loving wish to live here. It came from the heart. Not from my search for enlightment. After long periods of struggling, now some pure moments of pure joy/hope/vision.
Not dreaming about Spain, no still forcing myself in the moment of now, I feel the energy floating again in the right way. Trusting on my coming choices which will come and the ones I will take. It has been very hard the last 1,5 year. Losing my grip slowly in Asia and not knowing how to deal with all the pain and sadness of all that life also gave to me, finally I regained trust and energy to accept live in the now, so to the future. I found my joy again to share myself in all that is good for me.

The following weeks I'm getting nice presents in return for all the hard work. My good and dear friend Kuba from Poland is coming and within two weeks I am flying to Tampere, Finland to meet my Finnish wife Katja and Anu. The best is that I have got balance again, so I can give them my positivity and we can enjoy full-on!




 
Thank you all who listened and more important who just where there for me. You are in my heart.

dinsdag 30 november 2010

Seasons of change

                            Seasons of change

This Winter is my first since 2007-2008. It's coming hard in my system of thinking and feeling. Especially when I am still in rehab from travelling 25 months without a residence and always having the inner struggle trying to settle. Not fully finding the right structure and balance yet to live in the now. Stop dreaming or placing myself in other places in this world or with people from earlier trips. This is it, and than Winter came...

Yesterday King Winter arrived in his purest form. First, in the morning one of my friends from Melbourne called. He was telling me that he was sitting on the beach in Port Melbourne. Last January and February we did live here in our cars for 5-6 weeks, with others.
After the call I had to go outside to buy a webcam and new mouse, to skype with my good friend Monica, from Guelph, Canada. The moment I stepped outside, snowflakes came down. I don't even have a proper winterjacket and the frozen rain came faster and I was getting more and more in the irritating mode. Looking outside from the store, I had to make myself think that it looks really nice. But damn.. I miss the sun and beach so much. Sleeping in my car and waking up with the seaguls flying above my car and the waves coming in on the background. Making a coffee for my friend and for myself. Some peanutbutter on toast. Gettin' a shower after the morning-dip in the ocean. 

Here it's waking up knowing that it is -5 outside, moreless. I am not able to see and hear the birds. The warmth of the sun and the colours and smell of flowers. The girls in less clothes than now, etc.

Of course I do realize that it's just the season and in 3 months the spring will come, and the feeling will be leaving me again. Only I know again why it has been 3 years since I had a Winter. A fortuneteller in Kuala Lumpur told me years ago that from August on I am getting more down and down. The summer and good weather is ending and it is always hard to accept this and live happy for the rest of the year. Good woman!

There are people who really dig the Autumn and Winter. The Summer is to hot for them. All these different characters make live colourfull, yes. But for now? I think I will go in my wintersleep like a polarbear, and waiting for Spring to arrive. Only it feels so long and so far away, that it is hard to accept it some moments in the day. But I am a positive guy, so I'll manage, like always. And when spring will come, I will get the energy and who knowes what kind of major steps I planned or what will come on my path of life?!

vrijdag 26 november 2010

Personal introduction: How it started..

A little introduction 

A while back one of my Swedish friends texted me on facebook;

"I just texted a Finnish friend of mine and asked what Rautakyrpä means. I wish I asked it to you first Kevin. Cause she wanted to know why this word!"

So I had to tell her the story. And it goes a little somethin' like this;


In september 2008 I was in Chiang Mai, in the North of Thailand. We were trekking in the mountains for a few days. I met a Swedish guy called John. Crazy ass hell guy, that's why I love him ;)!

He told me a word from Finland; Rautakyrpä. I should tell it to other people on the trip, he said. It means Iron Penis, only its more the way how you say it what makes it funny. After little bit practice how to pronounce the word right, I remembered it

I was in the middle of Laos with Ville from Tampere, Finland. We were in Paksé, and were going south to the 4000 islands of Laos in the Mekong river. We met 2 Finnish guys in Paksé; Rammy and Hammy(or something like that). They came from the south and went up north. They met me by the name Rautakyrpä. Ville and the guys were laughing a lot about this name. Rammy and Hammy went up north after meeting us and we went south, to Don Det.


On Don Det we met a Finnish girl called Elina. I told her my name; Rautakyrpä. She said.. "Heeeeeii man, I've heard from you! I met 2 finnish guys, Rammy and Hammy, and they told me they have met you in Paksé!"

Next to Laos I went all the way south of Cambodia to be on the beach of Sihanouk Ville. At the Guesthouse I met 2 Finnish guys. I was alone there to meet Chantelle and Monica, from Yes you Can(ada).
I told my name to the 2 Finnish guys; Rautakyrpä. They said to me; "Hei man, we've heard about a crazy Dutch guy who is travelling and has got the name Rautakyrpä." I asked them who had told them this? Ville.. I asked; Ville, from Tampere?? Is he also here...? hahahah...lol!

After a few weeks on the beach, a Finnish friend from earlier travels in Spain and Finland came. We laughed about my new name, and slowly it became a real nickname. With a nice story attached to it.
There was a beachvolleyball tournament, and the money went to; (I can be wrong, because of the all the memory(weed)loss) the street children of Cambodia.

We wanted to play this tournament, so we needed a teamname. Team Rautakyrpä? Yes, perfect.

We smoked a big spliff all together just before playing our first match. One of the organisers was standing on the beach in Sihanouk Ville, next to the field with a microphone. He asked what our teamname was. Rautakyrpä! He had some minor problems with pronouncing the word, but it worked and Iron Penis was echoing over the beach. Such a cool moment, stoned and happy; Team Iron Penis. How did it came this far? I remember that I asked myself this question. Well, this is the answer. Its even my facebook name, and people know be by this name. Without doing anything really. That is what makes it so special and one of those stories.


So people heard about me, even before meeting me. And I am talking about 3 Countries; Thailand, Laos and Cambodia. In less than two months travelling this story happend. With many, many travellers in it. Travellers who go up and south, east and left! After this I went to Vietnam, Hong Kong, China, Malaysia, the Netherlands, Sweden, Poland and Australia. And still they call me; Rauta Kyrpä!


Just a story to share. One of those things.. 
 
It's like that, and that's the way it is..