Seasons of change
This Winter is my first since 2007-2008. It's coming hard in my system of thinking and feeling. Especially when I am still in rehab from travelling 25 months without a residence and always having the inner struggle trying to settle. Not fully finding the right structure and balance yet to live in the now. Stop dreaming or placing myself in other places in this world or with people from earlier trips. This is it, and than Winter came...
This Winter is my first since 2007-2008. It's coming hard in my system of thinking and feeling. Especially when I am still in rehab from travelling 25 months without a residence and always having the inner struggle trying to settle. Not fully finding the right structure and balance yet to live in the now. Stop dreaming or placing myself in other places in this world or with people from earlier trips. This is it, and than Winter came...
Yesterday King Winter arrived in his purest form. First, in the morning one of my friends from Melbourne called. He was telling me that he was sitting on the beach in Port Melbourne. Last January and February we did live here in our cars for 5-6 weeks, with others.
After the call I had to go outside to buy a webcam and new mouse, to skype with my good friend Monica, from Guelph, Canada. The moment I stepped outside, snowflakes came down. I don't even have a proper winterjacket and the frozen rain came faster and I was getting more and more in the irritating mode. Looking outside from the store, I had to make myself think that it looks really nice. But damn.. I miss the sun and beach so much. Sleeping in my car and waking up with the seaguls flying above my car and the waves coming in on the background. Making a coffee for my friend and for myself. Some peanutbutter on toast. Gettin' a shower after the morning-dip in the ocean.
Here it's waking up knowing that it is -5 outside, moreless. I am not able to see and hear the birds. The warmth of the sun and the colours and smell of flowers. The girls in less clothes than now, etc.
Of course I do realize that it's just the season and in 3 months the spring will come, and the feeling will be leaving me again. Only I know again why it has been 3 years since I had a Winter. A fortuneteller in Kuala Lumpur told me years ago that from August on I am getting more down and down. The summer and good weather is ending and it is always hard to accept this and live happy for the rest of the year. Good woman!
There are people who really dig the Autumn and Winter. The Summer is to hot for them. All these different characters make live colourfull, yes. But for now? I think I will go in my wintersleep like a polarbear, and waiting for Spring to arrive. Only it feels so long and so far away, that it is hard to accept it some moments in the day. But I am a positive guy, so I'll manage, like always. And when spring will come, I will get the energy and who knowes what kind of major steps I planned or what will come on my path of life?!



